The Wedding-Dress-Wanna-Be-Coma

I am guilty.  I am guilty of destroying my living room with bridal magazines.

Toby's undeniable opinion...

And, I now I need a major detox because all I can see is the color white—white with ruffles. Do I want to look like the waves of a greasy chip on my marriage day? Um, no—but every bridal impostor grazing through these magazines made a voluntary choice to flash these white, irritating layers. They appear to me like robots. Who wouldn't resist such a temptation--robots, fluff and potato chips? 

Now what is the current result of my wedding-dress-wanna-be-coma? Just look. Look.

The ruffle, whip dress

If you didn't really look long enough, go back and look again. The details of this masterpiece confuse me. Every time I search for the words to gently and delicately describe this dress, I think, "Ha". One thing is for certain though--in a dress like this, you wouldn't ever be forgotten. Odds are that you may not even be able to kiss your new Husband with that fluffy barrier.  But that's ok because your guest, Jane Doe, saw that dress (and that's all she/he saw the whole time).

Ok, now I want you to consider this next example. You've just ordered this sweet, chocolatey drink at Starbucks but one really really important detail was left out...the whipped cream. How would this dress solve your issue?

Ironically, i've found myself more appealed to this potato sack than most of the dresses I've passed by. What would Ry say if I walked down the isle wearing this?

Sadly, with either option, I have a feeling no one would ever forget that day...

So, I bet now you are wondering, "What is Karlee going to wear on that special day?"  Well, if you must know, right now I have nothing other than my birthday suit (because I haven't gone to get a dress).  But, when I do...

You will just have to wait like everyone else. Wink.

So, What Do We Do Now?

After we established that I wasn’t going to take a swim with the fishes, Ryan and I returned up the path--not as boyfriend and girlfriend but as fiancé and fiancé (cool right?)

We walked in silence for a few minutes before I asked: “So, what do we do now?”

Other than calling people—many of who already knew what was in the works—Ryan and I didn’t know what to do.  So, we held a short and small debate about our wedding date located a mere 5 yards from a major highway…

This is what was originally proposed: 2 May’s from now. What? Two Years? What? So, I made a counter offer: next Fall (the year of 2012). It was an offer he couldn’t refuse (winky face).  I think Ryan’s goal was to make me wait and wait and wait (by my calculations, waiting and waiting and waiting would mean 8 years of waiting all together). By then, I could be the first lady president of the United States twice.  I could be the potential savior or destroyer of America’s people.

Man, who wouldn’t want to marry that right away?

So, after our phone calls were made, and I announced my engagement to the world of Facebook, I started to prioritize what I needed/wanted to do.

This is what the functional bride has established so far:

• My best lady
• The ladies of my wedding party (you will have to wait patiently for the revealing)
• Who I am going to/want to invite
• The time of year (which is the fall)
• That like the fall things are going to be rustic.
• That my ladies are going to look haut
•  That Ryan should have x amount of guys to my x amount of girls for continuity. We will see what happens with this…
•  That we are going to dance like hipity hopity bunnies
• That Napa/Sonoma County is looking really inviting
• What my wedding dress isn’t going to look like

This is what Ryan has established so far:

•  That he has submitted to a fall wedding
• That he has a best guy
• That he is the best guy
•  And that all his men will either be dressed in powder blue or powder orange tuxedos (cough, cough)…
• There has even been mention of a European trip for his bachelor party and the purchase of a shed to replace the barn I want to get married at (har har har)

Needless to say, we have our work cut out for us. While that’s cool and stuff--all that work coming up--what I am truly excited for is the love and support we will get to absorb through this process. Family and friends have already given us a plethora of knowledge to store up in honor of the upcoming nuptials. So it will make it even more exciting for that big day!

Introducing the Functional Bride

Hi Everyone!  My name is Karlee Tucker, and you can call me the Functional Bride!

Technically, I am a Functional-Bride-To-Be--hence the web address: “www.thefunctionalbridetobe.blogspot.com” but my hope is that you may place me into that category of “functional” (you will have to decide this on your own because I will be rather biased about this—I am the bride after all.)

The  Functional Bride

I guess you could also place me in the following categories:  Napa/Sonoma County Bride, Rustic Bride, Fall Bride, Innovative Bride, and the most awesome, most spectacular bride (the last one is strictly objective—Ryan thinks I am pretty spectacular—my goal would be to get you on my team in the process).

I bet you want to know what my fiancé looks like too, huh?  Well this is him:

Ryan making a kissy face.

The cliff

He waited, not 1, not 2, but 6 years (yes 6) to ask me to marry him. I had to get my hopes up a few times and dream that he would say those wonderful, magnificent 4 words:  “I lovith you much”—that’s not quite right—“Pochinie, I love you”—nope that’s not right either—“will you marry me?” Yup, that’s right. Except he didn’t say it like that, he said my first, middle and last name: “ Karlee Tucker Tucker will you marry me?”  (there has been some debate about my middle name).

He also asked me those splendid words next to a cliff—it was either a yes or a plunge into the watery depths. It was my choice, and according to Ryan, “I chose right.”

Years previous, he also said the "forbidden 3 words" next to a watery, ocean cliff. “I love you” became an option of survival too. Hmmmm…

Ryan was really clever though; he wouldn't tell me where we where going and he wouldn't tell me why (I had my suspicions after that).

Sappy moment warning:
He took me to Mendocino County and asked me to marry him. We were also in Mendocino County when he told me he loved me. Good job RyRy, good job.

Now back to the story...

I had been taking pictures with Ryan’s newly cleaned camera. Snap. Look. Snap. Look. And then I snapped an awesome photo of Ryan’s silhouette in the sunlight (really romantic stuff, yup).  I went to show him the awesome picture, and that’s when he told me he had a surprise. Awwww…

Ry contemplating life, and I suppose love.